Disclaimer: The advice below is strictly the opinions of the authors and has not been approved by an Imam, Mufti or other Islamic body and does not reflect a scholarly Islamic position.  Please consult with a learned person before deciding on any course of action.

This month’s question:

Someone asked me out on a date at work. What should I do?

Conservative Guy

You must be very clear to your co-worker that your religion forbids dating. This could be a good opportunity to educate your co-worker on the perils of dating. While erecting real walls between your co-workers is impractical, you must enact your own sense of modesty and set your own boundaries to minimize this type of behaviour. It may be prudent to avoid someone who is making unwanted overtures at you. For your own part, ensure you are not doing anything to encourage unnecessary attention from others which does not relate to your work.

Progressive Gal:

You’ve been asked out on a date at work. Take a second to enjoy it.  It’s flattering. Ok, the moment is over. You’re in a very tricky situation that has to be handled delicately. The other person has put their feelings on the line. It’s someone you see frequently. And it’s probably hard to avoid that person at your workplace. You know the answer is no but how you get to that no is just as important.

There’s no right answer when it comes to questions like this - it’s more of a ‘choose your own adventure’. Here are some options:

1. You’re taken: This is a great answer because it’s not really a rejection. Since you’ll probably have to answer a couple questions about your significant other, it’s helpful if it’s a real person. You risk a lot by lying about it - not just the other person’s feelings but your reputation as well.

2. Umm….no: Rejection hurts. But it is clear and to the point. No is a pretty good place to start. After you get to no, don’t get involved in a lot of discussion about why. As much as you might not want to hurt the other person’s feelings, it’s far worse to let someone think they have a chance when they don’t. 

3. Not at work: Although work places have relaxed the rules on inter-office dating, it’s not the best idea even for people who are part of the dating world. If you’re looking for a easy way to let someone down, telling a prospective suitor “not at work” says that this isn’t the time or the place

Relationships are important at work and you want to maintain your friends and allies in the office. Sometimes people will develop feelings - no doubt attracted to your confident Islamic attitude. Keep other’s feelings in mins but be firm in your beliefs!