From a Meaningless Life to a Meaningless Death

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The sky is still as blue as I remember it. I haven’t seen it since three days, and I have almost forgotten how beautiful it looks on a sunny day in winter.

I wish I could walk on the beach and enjoy some peace.

I moved with my husband and children to his family house three days ago, leaving behind our beach apartment to find a secure place where our children do not have to wake up frightened from the loud sounds of the explosions. I cannot give them any assurances that tomorrow will be better and that they will be safe. They have stopped asking us when this is all going to end.

The images are always the same, except this time more violent, and evil. We have stopped enjoying anything after the Israeli war against the civilians in Gaza began. Neither me nor my children can stand the sound of the continuous bombing by the Israeli war machines. It is worse during the night and my children have started going to bed very early to avoid hearing the voices of F16 bombing. You can not imagine how scary it is to hear the whistling of the missiles before they hit. Where you feel that you are the target of the next missile, counting the seconds before they hit. All we can do is thank Allah when we all wake up safe the next morning. To be thankful that we have an other day to live.

I used to listen to how people hated wars, for all the pain they leave in the heart and soul. War is very cruel, and we the Palestinian refugees have witnessed the cruelty of war before, but this time it is the cruelest of them all. It is a war where there is no mercy, no difference between a child, an old man or even of an unborn fetus. All are criminals and deserve to die according to the Israeli board.

I stopped hoping for an end, and my children have stopped feeling scared. We have all become the victims of Israeli hate and inhumanity. Life has became meaningless not only for us but also for our children. So we wait. Wait for our turn to join the list, as an additional number, nothing more, but just a number.

We have one wish: to die together as one family so none of us live the bitterness of losing the other.

Najwa Sheick
Nusierat Camp, Gaza Strip

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