VDay Series: Parking Lot B
The WMI’s VDay series features anonymous submissions from writers sharing their perspectives on love, halal dating, and challenges for Muslims living in the West. Views expressed are not necessarily representative of the WMI. Photos by Mim Fatmi.
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It was a record-breaking cold December that year—so cold, that the city later warned people to stay home for New Year’s Eve. There was snow lightly covering the city. Steamy chimneys puffing away over time. The crispness of the air was unparalleled.
“I didn’t know guys in Muslim organisations made Bumble profiles,” she said teasingly.
My high school crush had slid into my DM’s right before our last university semester started.
I drive up to lot B on this bitterly cold December afternoon, to the warmest sight: there she was, rolled up in giant scarf, open hair tucked in, and her gorgeous eyes peering at me, strolling up and down the path, waiting, so we could catch the sunset.
I had no idea what this was—a date? Friends catching up?
After a rapid-fire overthinking round, I finally got out and walked over. She sweetly but awkwardly chuckled at me: the MSA guy, Jummah volunteer whom she had caught on Bumble.
What both of us likely anticipated was a quick meet up, that turned from minutes to hours of conversation. Like we had known each other for years. Talking about everything from our globetrotting adventures to curiosities surrounding the trans community’s struggles in Pakistan, and of course—food.
The sunset walk turned into dinner, the dinner to tea. Each time without saying it, we knew we didn’t want to leave. Without realising it, we had found an unexpected level of comfort in one another’s company. Two very private people, volunteering what they held close, without even realising it.
Alas, as the evening set in, her curfew drew closer. The globetrotting backpacker had to leave soon because aunty was worried when she would be home.
It was bittersweet, but mostly just sweet. Over the next few months, we grew closer and realised in hindsight that we both could’ve kept chatting for hours on end if we didn’t have to leave that night. It’s been three years since that freezing cold week in December. We’ve had our ups and downs to say the least but we’re still happily together. Each day she pretends to be amused by my tangential trains of thought and every day I still get lost in her gorgeous brown eyes.
I’m kidding.
Our friendship grew into a beautiful relationship. A healthy one, and a happy one. Marked by beautiful silences sitting on a park bench, watching the sunset like we did that first day (I mostly loved watching her watch the sunset). But alas, we parted ways. Although we were two very different people, the relationship got us both out of our comfort zones, got us to shoot our shots and give it our best. Fueling the journey from friend, to boyfriend, to “that asshole.” Learning new things about life along the way.
I’d do it all over again.
You see, life is full of these turning points. There’s no way to predict the future, and no way to avoid it. The best way forward is to live it and learn from it. So, this year, shoot your shot! DM him/her/them, ask your friend to hook you up, be bold, be brave, find out their halal:haram ratios or ask for their mom’s number. It doesn’t matter how you do it—just get out there and try it. COVID has taken so much from us already… maybe this way you’ll find that bench with your sunset moments. The worst that can happen is that they’ll say no, and trust me, it’s not so bad. After all, rock bottom makes for great ground to stand up on again. Good luck!
PS. We’re still friends, and I’m still an asshole according to her.